The Dawning of Change.

New Years Day 2009 and everyone's away either at work or with friends. There is a sense that something is in the air but can't quite place it. There is nothing to do and yet there is this urge, but what?

Well, for one thing writing this entry. It has been on my mind for too long and for what reason? Truth is I found myself saying silly stuff such as:

• Why would anyone want to listen to me, I'm just another person with no credentials, what I have to say would be disregarded
• I prefer being in the background making things happen for others
• It's alright to leave things be for more important issues
• I don't have the time right now
• I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll,...........

Hmmm, sounds like I'm making excuses and I am. Yea, they seem like reasonable thoughts in the past but not right now. And for a change, I stop and listen. To whom I ask and the answer comes back myself, to clarify that, my higher self, my soul, spirit, God, whatever it wants to be called by myself or another.

What, another blog entry about New Year Resolutions eh? Nothing of the such, I am not making any resolutions, resolutions almost never come to fruition. All I can say at present is there is within me a nervousness about the future, and yes I'm sure there are fears in that nervousness as well. But nervousness is a good thing, right now it is the recollection that this is my life, and how I choose to live it.

So as I pondered on what to write, it hit me like a ton of bricks, I am not being authentic with myself. Here I am, an individual who has always believed in you make your world and what I have been doing lately is running. What am I running from, I really don't know if I could tell you up to yesterday, I can now. I've been running from what my calling is in this lifetime. And what might that be? Well, look at the reasons I listed above, this is what I was running from, the shadows within. I have the knowledge to face them and accept they are a part of me. My ego though still want to run from them and from what my life is calling me to do. And yes, as I write this, thoughts from the last couple of decades have told me exactly what's going to happen, if I decide to. But to decide to means I have to be authentic with myself which means to acknowledge my shadows are a intricate part of who I am.

There is a interesting article that a friend wrote about a year ago on authenticity I recently read that spurred the direction of this post. I had lost track of her when she shut down her site to continue her lifes calling in a new direction. Actually, I think what happened is that I forgot my purpose and entered into the realm of the ego for the last couple of months and before that was putting on a show to my authentic self.

My friends name is Suzanne Matthiessen, I was introduced to her by a co-worker who has a similar belief system. Her articles, in a magazine called Oracle 20/20 is how I came to know Suzanne. Her writing skills and wisdom are unique, she says it as she sees and doesn't sugar coat what is on her mind. I came to appreciate her style, I wanted to share the treasures she wrote of, to introduce her work to others. I contacted Suzanne for permission to publish her articles and she graciously accepted. I posted her article "Getting out of your own Way" back in July of 2007, the article can be read here. It was short after this when she shut down spiritualetiquitte.com and I lost track of my new friend and slipped back into my ego syntonic nature.

Only last week when I was cleaning out some old emails did I chance upon her again and her new venture called Communicating Humanity. I've began to explore her new site and hope you do as well. I'll be posting more on her work in the near future and eventually, I hope to catch up with Suzanne to re-establish communication. Maybe she'll be just as gracious, as before, and give us permission to publish her work once again.