Vulnerability

People are emotionally fragile when sick, and being told you have cancer or AIDS can completely shatter a person's emotional world. Daniel Goleman explains in his book Emotional Intelligence that this is due to the fact that normally "our mental well-being is based in part on the illusion of invulnerability." Most physicians have no clue to the strategic importance of this vulnerability; no clue what vulnerability really means thinking as they do that it has something to do with weakness as opposed to strength. "Sickness, especially a severe illness bursts that illusion, attacking the premise that our private world is safe and secure. Suddenly we feel weak, helpless, and vulnerable," continued Goleman.

It is not clear if Goleman himself understands what he actually said here at the end because a real understanding of vulnerability teaches us that such a return to the vulnerable space is necessary and healthy. Vulnerability is the capacity or susceptibility to being hurt. It is not a weakness but a capacity that is deeper than the deepest well. For most people the feeling of being exposed to emotional hurt, or exposed to being taken advantage/abused relates to feelings of vulnerability that are to be avoided at all cost. Most people do associate vulnerability with the feeling of being fragile, weak, or of being susceptible to emotional pain and suffering.

Normally our vulnerability relates to our innermost feelings and fears with the possibility that others might use our feelings and fears against us if they knew of them. So we hide them to protect ourselves not knowing the cost of repression and separation from our own "vulnerable" feeling nature. This illusion of invulnerability that Goleman speaks of is actually people fearing being hurt, fearing their own vulnerability and the feelings engendered by it. Thus they live with thoughts like, "I am never going to let my guard down, never let them know how I really feel. I have been hurt in the past so I will never let anyone hurt me again." This all leads to attitudes that do not trust anyone, pretending we have no problems or weaknesses when we do, and walking around with the attitude that it's nobody's business how we feel and that nothing and nobody can help us overcome the pain we feel.

The word vulnerable is also synonymous with the words openness and exposure. Being open is a fundamental key to a life. Being vulnerable in this sense is synonymous with being open to communicate, being open to share and care. When we are vulnerable in a positive way we try out new behaviors, attitudes and or beliefs; we become willing to take chances and try out new experiences, accept challenges or take risks. Vulnerable people listen to life, listen to what others say and thus are able to listen to feedback about what is off about their lives. Real listening involves change, something that chronic disease mirrors and demands of us if we want to get better. We could easily speculate that we get sick exactly because we do not make ourselves vulnerable to listen and change specific things that we should.

When a person is truly vulnerable there is an unobstructed entrance or view to the persons heart, being and soul. In the strongest or most enlightened person there is no protecting or concealing cover because the person needs none. Such people carry themselves in full view of others because they are not afraid of being hurt, because they are not afraid to suffer and they are not afraid of change. The Heart is the Vulnerability of being. It is easy to hurt most beings because the heart is vulnerable. Its very existence is based on its capacity to feel. It is difficult for many modern physicians to even begin to understand the multi-dimensional properties of the human heart; that there are things to it beyond its mechanical pumping action. Deep within is our pure being that has incarnated into this body. This being is ultra sensitive and from the moment of conception is picking up subtle impressions from the environment through the heart center of pure feeling.

Heart Intelligence, as opposed to emotional intelligence, enlightens us to the universe of being that lies beyond the mind. It offers us a tremendous key to health and to healing chronic conditions that seem beyond resolution. It teaches us that our march into sickness begins with our avoidance of the true vulnerability of being, which represents the truth of our existence on this planet. For each step we take from the heart, from the center of our own vulnerable feelings, is a step we take toward cancer and many other serious debilitating diseases. Obviously it is not the only factor but it is one of the biggest factors.

Disease as such can show us how invulnerable we have become, how walled off we are from the world and our own inner reality. One of the great secrets of life has to do with the power of the heart and what a return to its vulnerability can offer a person sick and dying of disease. Vulnerability might feel like a weakness to be avoided but it offers a healing strength second to none because through our vulnerability we return to the nature of our true beings. Dr. Tournier mentions God's intervention because a return to vulnerability is a spiritual transition that is crucial for our happiness and health.

It is through a person's vulnerability that they open themselves not only to experience life in all its fullness, but also to a power and depth of intelligence that can only be seen as holy. It is really too bad that medical schools make sure that little or no vulnerability is left in medical students by the time they are ready to accept their licenses. Subjected to many of the torturous routines that one might expect to find in fanatical cult groups, little is left of emotional or heart intelligence. For a great majority of physicians the very definition of what it is to be human and what it is to be sick leaves out all dimensions except physical ones. Anything outside of that and what you will hear from many of them is, "Its all in your head." The more sophisticated might say its an emotional problem but end up recommending a psychologist or worse a psychiatrist who will just drug the person out.

In medicine, in life threatening chronic disease situations, there is no time to play around with someone's head, no time for the psychoanalysts couch five times a week for a few years. A terminal cancer patient has not the time. Dealing from the head in such situations does not bring resolution to core conflict disharmonies. Healing has to come from the deepest regions; miracles are made there. Through the door of vulnerability we must go, we who are on the front lines in delivering care to beings who are in dire need of help and guidance. Patients are truly vulnerable, or in the process of being returned to that space, so they are vulnerable to being hurt by us. They are easily wounded by doctors who do not care to feel, who do not even have the time to. Emotional heart intelligence is absolutely necessary in medicine.

Mark Sircus Ac., OMD
Director International Medical Veritas Association
http://imva.info
http://www.worldpsychology.net
+55-83-252-2195
www.skype.com ID: marksircus