Transcending Thoughts
Are you SURE you're who you think you are?
How you label yourself and how you describe yourself can have a profound effect on the way you live in this world.
Do you see yourself, first and foremost, as your work. Are you an accountant, a builder, unemployed, a receptionist, a CEO?
Do you see yourself according to personality characteristics. Are you someone who is shy, outgoing, self-confident, negative, hard-working?
Many of these labels were picked up in childhood. Most are externally defined. That is, we think we are something because there is a culturally defined word that describes what we do or how we feel or act.
We take on many of these labels unconsciously, without questioning whether or not they truly apply to us or even is we want them to. Then, as a result of who we think we are, we act in certain ways, stay in certain jobs, limit ourselves to doing and being who we think we are. Never questioning whether or not this is still true, or whether or not it ever was. By doing so we close off thousands of opportunities to experience life from a different perspective and do or be different things.
The reverse side of this can be just as confining. Sometimes there are aspects of ourselves that we have made a part of our identity and that, if we stop to think about it, we'd like to keep but that we no longer live up to.
~~~
A number of years ago, in my New Age seeking days, I met Roland on a spiritual retreat in Egypt. This was his first time abroad whilst I have visited a number of countries and had lived in a couple of them.
Later I embarked on a year long, round-the-world trip and my identity as a 'traveller' became a key part of who I thought I was.
Then, a year or so ago, I found myself walking along the prom with Roland who'd was visiting me on his return to the USA after a trip to South Africa. This was just one of numerous trips that he had taken in the intervening years whilst I had not left England, other than on family holidays. It suddenly struck me - in my mind I was still a traveller but my actions no longer reflected this aspect of who I thought I was.
This was important because travel always comes up when I answer such questions as:
"What would you like more of in your life?"
"What would you do if you had more time/money?"
"If you died tomorrow what would you most regret?" etc. etc.
Here I was, saying that travel was extremely important to me, that being a traveller is part of who I am but I wasn't acting from that. Why not I wondered?
For years I'd told myself that I simply couldn't go off travelling because I had a young child. Later it was because I couldn't afford it. But at the time of the walk on the prom this simply wasn't true (if it ever really was). So I decided to test this idea of who I thought I was and see if it still fitted and, more importantly, whether or not I wanted it to.
~~~
I took my son, Prentice, to Venice - just for 5 days but staying in back-packing accommodation and making the rest up as we went along.
As soon as I booked the flights I went into a complete panic.
I was then able to see that a major reason I hadn't done this for so long was because I was out of practice and I was scared
- really scared.
We went anyway and had a wonderful time and that little trip turned into a dress rehearsal for a much bigger one.
I've just returned from 4 fabulous weeks in Nepal.
If I was scared before I went to Venice I was terrified before I went to Nepal. But I'm so, so glad I've reconnected with the traveller in me. It is most definately an image of myself I want to keep and to continue to act upon. I love it!!
~~~
So, who is it you think YOU are? Are you sure?
Are you acting from labels and descriptions you no longer want?
Choose some new ones and see what happens as a result?
Are you telling yourself you're a certain way but not acting according to that? What do you need to do to reconnect with that part of yourself or to let it go if you no longer want it?
~~~
Have fun investigating who you think you are and who you might like to be.
Remember, you get to choose!
Until the next time . . .
Copyright (c) Gillian Pearce, 2003. Copyright (c) Gillian Pearce, 2003. Gillian Pearce is a Personal and Business Coach and co-creator of the Leadership Matters project. For more information or to subscribe to the Irreverent Leader newsletter visit: http://www.leadership-matters.com/readiness
Feel free to reprint the following article or use on your website as long as no changes are made and this paragraph, the byline below and copyright information, are included. Please let me know if you use this article by sending an email to articles@leadership-matters.com
Do you see yourself, first and foremost, as your work. Are you an accountant, a builder, unemployed, a receptionist, a CEO?
Do you see yourself according to personality characteristics. Are you someone who is shy, outgoing, self-confident, negative, hard-working?
Many of these labels were picked up in childhood. Most are externally defined. That is, we think we are something because there is a culturally defined word that describes what we do or how we feel or act.
We take on many of these labels unconsciously, without questioning whether or not they truly apply to us or even is we want them to. Then, as a result of who we think we are, we act in certain ways, stay in certain jobs, limit ourselves to doing and being who we think we are. Never questioning whether or not this is still true, or whether or not it ever was. By doing so we close off thousands of opportunities to experience life from a different perspective and do or be different things.
The reverse side of this can be just as confining. Sometimes there are aspects of ourselves that we have made a part of our identity and that, if we stop to think about it, we'd like to keep but that we no longer live up to.
~~~
A number of years ago, in my New Age seeking days, I met Roland on a spiritual retreat in Egypt. This was his first time abroad whilst I have visited a number of countries and had lived in a couple of them.
Later I embarked on a year long, round-the-world trip and my identity as a 'traveller' became a key part of who I thought I was.
Then, a year or so ago, I found myself walking along the prom with Roland who'd was visiting me on his return to the USA after a trip to South Africa. This was just one of numerous trips that he had taken in the intervening years whilst I had not left England, other than on family holidays. It suddenly struck me - in my mind I was still a traveller but my actions no longer reflected this aspect of who I thought I was.
This was important because travel always comes up when I answer such questions as:
"What would you like more of in your life?"
"What would you do if you had more time/money?"
"If you died tomorrow what would you most regret?" etc. etc.
Here I was, saying that travel was extremely important to me, that being a traveller is part of who I am but I wasn't acting from that. Why not I wondered?
For years I'd told myself that I simply couldn't go off travelling because I had a young child. Later it was because I couldn't afford it. But at the time of the walk on the prom this simply wasn't true (if it ever really was). So I decided to test this idea of who I thought I was and see if it still fitted and, more importantly, whether or not I wanted it to.
~~~
I took my son, Prentice, to Venice - just for 5 days but staying in back-packing accommodation and making the rest up as we went along.
As soon as I booked the flights I went into a complete panic.
I was then able to see that a major reason I hadn't done this for so long was because I was out of practice and I was scared
- really scared.
We went anyway and had a wonderful time and that little trip turned into a dress rehearsal for a much bigger one.
I've just returned from 4 fabulous weeks in Nepal.
If I was scared before I went to Venice I was terrified before I went to Nepal. But I'm so, so glad I've reconnected with the traveller in me. It is most definately an image of myself I want to keep and to continue to act upon. I love it!!
~~~
So, who is it you think YOU are? Are you sure?
Are you acting from labels and descriptions you no longer want?
Choose some new ones and see what happens as a result?
Are you telling yourself you're a certain way but not acting according to that? What do you need to do to reconnect with that part of yourself or to let it go if you no longer want it?
~~~
Have fun investigating who you think you are and who you might like to be.
Remember, you get to choose!
Until the next time . . .
Copyright (c) Gillian Pearce, 2003. Copyright (c) Gillian Pearce, 2003. Gillian Pearce is a Personal and Business Coach and co-creator of the Leadership Matters project. For more information or to subscribe to the Irreverent Leader newsletter visit: http://www.leadership-matters.com/readiness
Feel free to reprint the following article or use on your website as long as no changes are made and this paragraph, the byline below and copyright information, are included. Please let me know if you use this article by sending an email to articles@leadership-matters.com
