Transcending Thought

A good Character is, in all cases, the fruit of personal exertion. It is not inherited from parents; It is not created by external advantages; it is no necessary appendage of birth, wealth, talents, or station; but is the result of one''s own endeavors - the fruit and reward of good principles manifested in a course of virtuous and honorable actions.

How To Create The Ideal Life and Business Using Proactive Love


"I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream." Pick a flavor, any flavor; we love them all. I go nuts in a 31 Flavors shop, and speaking of nuts, I like all the toppings too.


In the same way that ice cream is the key ingredient to every person's ideal flavor, love is the key factor to every person's ideal life. Love delivers joy in every way it's used.


Think about it. Joy and happiness come to us when we give love, when we receive love, and when we just plain old love ourselves.


Yes, I believe love is present in every ideal life.


That might be why I found Doug Carter's book "Clients Forever" so captivating. He approaches selling as if 'Love' were the key ingredient to having the ideal business. In fact, he starts off his first chapter with "What If All Your Clients Loved You?"


Carter makes a brilliant case for describing the ideal business as one in which 100% of your clients love you and help you to build your business.


You might be thinking, but there are many different kinds of love, loving ice cream and loving a client can't be the same."


Yes, you're right, the kind of love that makes up ideal relationships is 'Proactive Love.' This type of love increases with trust and the level of trust is determined by how much you trust yourself. Therefore, you control the
strength of your relationships because you can choose to increase the level of trust that you have in yourself.


To illustrate this I need to switch my metaphor from ice cream to suspension bridges. This is basic engineering so don't panic.


Here are three basic 'Trust Bridge Builders' (TBBs).


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TBB 1 - Anchor Your Trust Deep Into Your Soul


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The secret to the strength of a suspension bridge, and why they are the longest bridges in the world, is that the huge support cables are anchored very deep on both sides of the chasm and they pull with equal force. The love you
share is the big cable and the anchor is the trust.


As the trust you have in yourself goes deeper, you will be able to support a greater level of love for other people. Therefore, you can proactively increase your ability to trust others through self-awareness and learning how to trust yourself.


Here's an exercise to begin a deeper level of trust. Write down the things you don't want in your life. Include your fears, worries, stressors, negative feelings, insecurities, bad habits, etc. By writing them down, you are giving them a place to be outside of your mind, so you can openly deal with them.


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TBB 2 - Lift Up Love By Discovering Your Deepest Desires


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The massive support towers that hold up the cables on a suspension bridge have to stand on solid bedrock, which is usually far below the muddy bottom of the channel. The muddy bottom is our wants, wishes, and shallow desires, while the deep, solid bedrock represent our core desires, the ones that stay the same no matter how much water goes under our bridge.


Your core desires provide your true motivation and you will be unstable until they are found. Once discovered, there are no limits to how high or how far you can go.


Here's an exercise to drill down to your core desires. Write down a list of at least ten things that you value in life. Pair them up in a double elimination tournament fashion. With each pair you say, "I can have them all, but if I had to choose between the two I would pick..." The chosen one moves up. When completed, you will have your three or four deepest desires in life and from these you will be able to find the pattern that reveals your strengths, motivators, and major purpose in life.


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TBB 3 - Support Your True Pathway With Only True Beliefs


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Tension wires hanging down from the main cable support the roadway. These tension wires are your beliefs; you have hundreds and perhaps thousands of them. Even if you don't pay attention to them, they still control your entire life.


Problems arise when you have beliefs that aren't true for you, because they don't fit and can't be connected properly! This causes your behavior to be weak and inconsistent with the real you. Your job is to discover what your false beliefs are and replace them with true beliefs, the ones that are right for you.


Use this exercise to find and replace your false beliefs and clarify and tighten your true ones. Answer the question "What should a person with my strengths and purpose in life do?" And then switch it with "what you shouldn't do?" Consider each area that is important to you. Then do the same with must, mustn't, can, can't, will, and won't.


To sum it up, you can have an ideal life and business if your relationships are built with Proactive Love. This kind of love is like a suspension bridge, which requires a trust that begins deep in your soul, and love that is lifted
high by supports standing on core desires, and lots of true beliefs connected to your true pathway. Build for yourself a Trust Bridge, and happiness, success, and abundance will be yours.




Randy Gilbert is the best-selling author of "Success Bound:


Breaking Free of Mediocrity" href="http://www.Success-Bound.com">http://www.Success-Bound.com


Co-host of "The Inside Success Show" the most talked-about Internet talk show href="http://www.TheInsideSuccessShow.com">http://www.TheInsideSuccessShow.com


Creator of "Proactive Success: The True Pathway to Authentic Abundance" href="mailto:subscribe@ProactiveSuccess.com">subscribe@ProactiveSuccess.com


Copyright 2003 Randy Gilbert. All rights reserved.


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